quarantine diaries
After a few days on the road, I have finally made it back to Baltimore. It seemed unreal: it was as if I had left only yesterday, yet I know it has been months. Mask on, I went on a scroll around campus. The overcast sky and drizzling rain brought back so many memories of the old times. Presently, for the first time in ages, life felt normal again.
I have never been the biggest fan of Japanese animation, because I always thought it was a bit too gory/strange for me to enjoy. However, I started watching some of Miyazaki's films recently, and I must say... these are true masterpieces. The stories, the adventures, the scenery are just incredible, the attention to detail impeccable. I'm also most definitely a fan of Mr. Miyazaki's themes - the coexistence of technology and nature, the devastating effects of war, the consequences of greed, very much relevant topics in this day and age. Timeless classics.
The following scenario has probably happened to all of us: getting excited about something new (could be anything from a job to an idea), only to find out later on that it was not what it was cut out to be. In fact, far from it. Question is: stay, or keep on going? I have struggled with this simple inquiry for years. Projects discontinue, teams fall apart. Some say, do whatever makes you happy. Yes, I know. It is just so hard to stay satisfied... Time passes, the cycle begins again.
I cannot believe what ICE of Homeland Security, and the Trump administration, has done. Their threat to deport international students is something I never saw coming. This is another despicable act driven by Trump's (and his puppets') own political agenda
and blatant disregard for basic human rights. As an international student, I am furious and saddened. America no longer seems to uphold the ideals that made her flourish. It is no longer welcoming to citizens of the world.
End of an era.
If I must leave, I would be forced to part ways with my loving friends, caring professors, and beautiful campus; to leave the past six, almost seven years of my life behind.
It is painful to watch my life and plans dismantled this way.
There is a magic to knowing multiple languages. Of course, it can be reduced to a matter of convenience, but it has so much more to offer. It has changed the way I think and formulate thoughts. When I only knew Mandarin, there was really only one way to express my ideas. After becoming fluent in English, however, things just changed. There are always at least two versions of every sentence I say or write, and I marvel at how similar yet different they are. Languages are not just tools. They capture the essence of a people's culture and history - and that is what I believe to be lost in translation. Every character, every word carries something unique and inimitable. A translated work could not replicate the tragedy in Hua Yu's To Live, nor the decadence in Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Do not learn a language to flaunt; learn to understand another world.
Quarantine continues, life carries on. Recently watched "The Matrix" trilogy, and learned a few things from it. It is easier now than ever to lose motivation and to become hopeless, feeling like the current state of the world will never change. But, like the Oracle said: "everything that has a beginning has an end."
I am at a loss for words. In the past days, or even months, it feels like I wake up to at least ten new crises every morning. I have usually reserved my opinions when it comes to the current state of affairs and politics because I do not believe I know enough about those subjects to voice my opinions, but it does not mean I will not remember. I remember it all, all the lives lost to police brutality, lost to the pandemic. What a truly extraodinary and difficult time this is...
As I was going to sleep last night, I came to the realization that almost all the professors I have had in college were male, with the exception of two classes, and only for one of the two did the professor taught for an entire semester. For a second I was baffled by why I have no recollection of interacting with female professors, and that is when the gender imbalance occured to me. Quite negligent of me to not realize until now, because in the School of Engineering, this seems to be so common that I got used to - or simply accepted - the strange phenomena. I am sure all the faculty members, regardless of gender, race, and sexual orientation are to an extent qualified for their positions (or I hope so at least), but a gender descrepancy like this is shocking and discouraging. Future improvements are necessary, not just for the candidates themselves, but for the next generation of female scientists and engineers.